My Poor Minivan

My Dodge Caravan was assaulted the other day. I parked it safely in a neighbourhood protected by drug-addicts. People have complained about having their vehicles broken into in the parkade, where you have to pay to park. I park on the street because I would rather get broken into for free, than pay $4.00 for the experience. Well, I never thought it would happen to me... but after work I found my passenger window smashed in. At first it appeared nothing had been taken, but after about 1/2 hour of reflection, I realized my backpack was missing. And in that backpack was an umbrella and about 2 weeks worth of bus tickets. I phoned the police to report it the next day. The police-woman asked the value of stolen goods. I told her about $60. I felt like saying, "I hope you put your best men on the job. They stole my bus tickets! And my umbrella! You might want to search all the transit vehicles in the area." But alas, I did not. And they did not. Today I parked in the same spot, just to spite the thieves. When I returned to my vehicle all was well. I smiled at my reflection in the new passenger window. I'm a good-lookin' dude.